Being coached has helped me in ways that I expected—and in ways I had never considered before

Two females talking
Two females talking
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Working with a professional coach is a great way to face the daunting task of personal growth and evolution. As adults, we face innumerable challenges in finding the necessary coherence between our emotional and rational selves.

We deal with issues in our relationships. We struggle along our career paths. We worry about our finances and supporting a family. We are always looking for ways to be better.

We start to think about how to make this happen:


It is the level in which we pursue emotional maturity that determines the type of adult we grow up to be.

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I’ve always been allergic to this word, “Maturity”. Perhaps it has something to do with my ego and always hating being called immature. Perhaps it has been for a lack of real understanding of what “maturity” means.

Yet in zooming out to look at the concept of maturity objectively, I realize that my challenges with the word and concept stem from my struggles to actually become mature. It isn’t an easy mirror to look into, but it is certainly my truth.

For some time now, I have been writing about the importance of adults being deliberate about their emotional maturation…


Coaching has helped me understand myself more thoroughly — through increased curiosity, understanding, and learning

A smiling woman holds out her hand to shake with people in the background smiling.
A smiling woman holds out her hand to shake with people in the background smiling.
Image credit: fizkes

As humans, we often take our ability for self-awareness for granted. We plow through life on autopilot unconsciously repeating ingrained patterns. We follow the expectations that our families, teachers, friends, and culture have for us. We live our lives according to the socially prescribed script.

Without self-awareness, we end up falling into the trap of doing what is easy, of following scripts written for us:


Sometimes we just feel stuck, not sure where to go or what to do. Rather than letting it get you down, let’s explore a bit further and see how to best understand why we’re stuck and how to get unstuck.

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For the past six months, I have published quite regularly on Monday evenings. Of course, this article is coming on a Thursday. Not on purpose, despite my love of real-life irony, but because I really was stuck while writing it.

The feeling of being stuck sucks. You know it, I know it, we all know it.

In writing this article, not being able to put the words to the document drove anxiety, made me feel inadequate and insecure. Being stuck makes me question my capabilities and brings me an unwanted anxiety that I definitely don’t need any more of.

While…


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We experience family in different ways, over the course of our lives. As our growth process evolves, we must be aware of where our families are helping or hindering that evolution.

These thoughts are coming on Mother’s Day, which is clearly going to be a family focused time. I have found it important to reflect on my interactions with my family. For anyone who has read my thoughts or spoken to me at a deeper level, I don’t hide the challenges I have experienced. As I think about my family today, I am able to zoom out and see that family is an important group we are a part of during life. Like any group, it will have its inevitable limitations.

Families can be conventional or unconventional. They can be the…


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Creativity is a way to connect, develop skill, and transform. In its pursuit, we become stronger, more resilient people. No better way to represent this than through the lens of a craft beer glass.

The Creativity of Craft Beer

One of my favorite things to do in life is try new craft beer. Admittedly, this is a bit of a left turn from my typical content and attempts at more profound thoughts. But beer is widely considered one of the more complex and creative fermented beverages in the world. I love it for reasons far beyond the loss of inhibition.

The flavor, the color, the mouthfeel, the strength. The creation of craft beer is a fascinating and wildly creative process. Breweries popping up all over the world are tasked with mixing their own culture, ingredients, and style. The complexity…


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For those of us who value our own development and the development of people close to us or with whom we work, coaching can be an incredibly effective tool.

Adult In Training

We have a responsibility to train ourselves. Our growth and maturation as adults is a deliberate process that requires a lifelong, cyclical effort of practice, reflection, and improvement. I have written about this and continue to remind myself and whomever reads, as often as possible. Our potential is limitless. Yet as adults, we face innumerable challenges in finding the necessary coherence between our emotional and rational selves. This should come as a surprise to no one.

This is what my own training has helped me understand so far:

Our human nature leans on the comforts of satiating our fragile egos


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For those of us on this life-long learning journey, the values we hold can make or break the impact of our efforts. Deliberately reflecting on our values, as often as possible, is essential to our growth and maturation processes.

In his book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, Mark Manson basically spends 224 pages explaining the importance of values. He explains that it is in truly understanding and sticking to what we value that we are able to direct our energy (fucks we give) to the things that are most in service of those values. From there, we can more easily divert our energy away (not give a fuck) from things that are not in service of said values. Very simple formula. Definitely read that book.

Yet it is in an article that Manson writes about Personal…


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In better understanding detachment and where it can help in our maturation processes, we give our gut the chance to catch up to our mind to create a more coherent growth journey.

Deliberate Detachment

In my philosophical and spiritual studies and practice, I find that detachment is one of the more difficult concepts to embody. Particularly through the stoic teachings, where I find myself most connected, it isn’t difficult to rationally see how healthy and beneficial indifference can be. My mind understands how detachment from desire can lead to greater appreciation and gratitude for life’s gifts. My mind understands that the best relationships I have are the ones where I bring the best version of myself. My mind fully grasps the importance of learning from the process of pursuing a goal or vision. My…


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Despite the power of experiential learning, there is still a necessary deliberate learning practice that must accompany our processes.

A Life-Long Process

It never ends. From the second we are born to the moment we die, we have the ability to learn. In the beginning, it’s easy. We don’t really have a choice. Life comes at us fast and the first 25 or so years are spent frantically trying to figure it all out. After that, we’re still frantic, but for different reasons. Those reasons, aka the stresses and challenges that make up the adult experience, have the capability of distracting us from the once natural process of learning.

Once we hit adulthood, the difference maker when it comes to learning, is…

Alex Rood

Leader & coach deliberately focused on becoming a better human being each day. It is a process of slow growth, and it’s the only way - deliberateself.com

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